License to Drive, Fish, Hunt, Kill, Have Kids?

In my opinion leashes are for dogs, not kids. So when I saw a family approach the studio with one of their kids on a leash I knew I was in for it.

“Are you ready for a handful?” Mom asked me.
“Sure!”
“Good, because I don’t want to deal with them anymore! So you can take them for a little while. If they sit, they sit, but don’t count on it, and you won’t get any help from me!”

I guess I was in for it…

While I was setting up the background mom took a load off & dad came in to the camera room. There was some small talk then out of the blue, “Yeah, she’s stoned.”—Awesome.

The shoot went off with out any major glitches, the kids, if you just gave them some direction and settled them down a bit, were actually not that bad. Then it was time to pick out the photos. This can be the most difficult part, not only because it is difficult to choose between so many great photos, but also because at this point the kids are usually restless & wound up or cranky and mom is trying to concentrate (as well as she can in her given state…)

I’d say she spent more time yelling at the kids than actually looking at the photos. I did get out some crayons & coloring books to give them something to do, however the kids decided they didn’t like the color of my chairs and took it upon themselves to refinish them with said crayons. At one point mom asked if I had any rope & duct take, makes me wonder what would have happened had I given her some.

We were finally able to nail down her order and I was getting her rung up. Leashed boy—who wasn’t currently tethered to anyone, yet still leashed—stood up and walked right into the glass wall I have in my studio, forehead first which knocked him on his ass and made a reverberating “doiiiiinnnnngggg” sound.

I tried to hold my laughter back but once mom and a customer walking by started I couldn’t help but join in.

It’s families like these that make me wonder why you need a license to drive from one place to the next but not to have children.